Spent a very lovely afternoon (would love to say “day”, but that’s inaccurate) helping the nerf family move into their spanky new place in the borders. We painted, humped furniture up stairs and shuttled nerfbaby back and forth between ourselves, a perpetually jiggled, tickled and giggled little bundle of under-the-feet.
Favourite moments included…
Lena - “I don’t have the muscles to hold him that long, he’s heavy”
Me - *leaning onto one foot, throwing out waist like a drunken N’Arleens ho, balancing nerfbaby on belt* “Dach, use your pelvis,woman”
Lena - *triumphantly, while giggling* “So that’s what they mean by child-bearing hips?”
On climbing into their huge loft space.
Me - “Shit, how middle aged are we? All excited about loft space”
SMM - “You were first up here….”
Finding SMM and nerfboy playing with the winch/pulley system in the loft, hooking it over the lowest rung on the drop-down ladder and pulling it up behind them; crowing “You can’t come in our gang-hut” and humming the Captain Pugwash theme tune.
Watching SMM (who at the start of our relationship said “No, no kids, never ever, absolutely not” then weakened to “Ok, kids, but they’ll be yours, you’re being daddy, that’s not my thing”) melt to a puddle at nerfbaby’s outstretched arms. He was gruff in the car home, of course, “I only played with him cos I could give him back to someone, it’s no big deal…”
I’ll tease him about it later, don’t worry.
Sitting in the hallway with nerfboy, ‘farting’ the Tetris theme, a Soviet symphony of tesselating raspberries. Puerile and geeky, that’d be us.
On rolling a bored and somewhat fractious nerfbaby down the garden path for a diversionary stroll, SMM and nerfboy are standing on the truck’s tail-lift.
SMM “Oh right, you’re off then are you?”
Me “Yup, we’ll be back soon”
SMM “Skiver”
ME *Raised eyebrows*
SMM “No, really, it’s fine, you have the cushy job, we’ll do all the hard work.”
Nerfboy *looks at me, looks at SMM, looks at nerfbaby, gives hollow, cynical laugh* “Dude, trust me, he is doing the hard work…”
The whole bunch of us sitting at the bottom of the stairs, munching on a seemingly endless supply of pizza (Thankyou Lucy and Lena!), laughing, chatting and generally shooting the shit, feeling like an older version of Party of Five…playing at grownups.
I’ll miss them, that ole nerf family. They’ve been just round the corner from me for the past few months and I’ve spent countless lazy evenings with them, drinking pints of gin and orange, bitching with nerfgirl, geeking with boy, giggling with baby.
I’ll miss boy grabbing his Mac and playing me MP3s I’ve “Got to hear”, but always being so excited about a just-rediscovered track that he never plays them all the way through, skipping back and forth through track listings - “Oh, have you heard…..”
I’ll miss sitting on the sofa with girl, legs tucked under ourselves as she sets the world to rights. I’ll miss being able to say to her “Girl, I know I should know more about this subject, but I don’t. Educate me”, then sitting back and having every angle covered by the end of the chat. I’ll miss laughing at American slipper-sock patterns and our mutual hatred for Edinburgh mothers and their sterile, lifeless children who always have their shoes on and a clean hanky in their pocket.
I’ll miss knowing that however shitty my day, baby will absolutely want to say hello and have a hug, even if it’s only a precursor to wriggling back down to the floor where he’s demolishing the window boxes on the balcony.
I fear these meetings will be few and further between and without a car it’s unlikely I’ll be popping round with anything like my former regularity. Still, I hope these gaps will make those meetings the sweeter.
You should look in, if you get the chance. It’s a cracking house and it’s not like they’ll be busy. They’re only decorating while raising a one year old, what’s the big deal?
Best of luck guys, I’ll miss you.
