Nov 15
Finally…
More F1 stories coming, but this just makes me laugh rather a lot.
I’m standing at a kerb in Newington, preparing to cross the road with DigitalLouis, while DigitalKate and DigitalSean take the afternoon off and swim/sweat in a sauna.
Anyway.
Standing waiting for the green man, a taxi waiting at lights beeps at me and I look up to see Judas at the wheel. He waves and points at Louis with a questioning look on his face. It was a look that said “You don’t have a kid…eh?”
So as we crossed I turned back over my shoulder, said hello to Judas through the open window
and, just to ‘clarify’ why I was wandering down the street with someone else’s kid, I shouted:
“If you find one, you get to keep it, right?”
He nodded and drove off, laughing.
The woman behind me, though?
She wasn’t laughing.
She was scowling at me.
And took the time to tell me I was a “fucking disgrace”.
Splendid…I was getting rather tired of this whole “pillar of the community” thing.
November 15th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
That kind of response always confuses me… Either she realised that you were joking, or she believed you…
If she realised that you were joking, then what’s disgraceful about that…
If she thought you were being serious, then why the fuck isn’t she calling the police?
November 16th, 2009 at 12:05 am
Wonderful. So Daily Mail readers are alive, well, and living in Newington! I must go there soon, and wind a few up
November 16th, 2009 at 1:53 am
Beautiful. Comedy gold right there
November 16th, 2009 at 1:58 am
Ah there is nothing quite like the streetwise outrage of the common man or ‘wummin’ in this case. However, I do agree with Hugh, what was her point exactly??
Lucy
November 16th, 2009 at 2:16 am
I have to agree with everyone else - what exactly was “disgraceful”? If she really did think you were leading some wee lad astray - she should have been on that mobile phone punching 9’s and all.
Of course, maybe she thought you were telling someone that your son was not your son but some stranger, and she thought it disgraceful that you would disown your own son… which he isn’t, but she doesn’t know that?
The above paragraph makes perfect sense when you are very sleepy. Really it does.
November 16th, 2009 at 6:58 am
Bwahahahahaha! I must try that with my nephew. On a related topic, this made me laugh:
http://itmademyday.com/2009/11/15/magzterr/
November 16th, 2009 at 9:25 am
I disown my children all the time in public. “oh no, they’re not mine, i found them on the door step this morning!” Nobody ever believes me though.
November 16th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
“Fucking disgrace”?
You waited for the green light didn’t you?
Silly woman.
November 16th, 2009 at 1:27 pm
I’d have torn a strip off the stroppy b**ch for swearing in front of a child.
I did once get a very funny look from a police officer on Princes Street who overheard me telling my youngest, “The cattle prod will be fully charged by the time we get home. You might want to start behaving yourself.” Sensible lad, he either realised I wasn’t serious or decided I looked too angry to be argued with. Before Social Services come knocking, I don’t have a cattle prod. I do want one, I just haven’t got my mitts on one yet.
November 16th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
When questioned (for the eighth time) where “the wean” was the other week I told the lass in Tesco I had tied “the wean” to the radiator so I could nip out for ten minutes (took a beat) then told her the radiator was switched off tho so she’d be fine. Think she took me seriously because she muttered that either “that wisnae right to dae that” or she muttered “she’s no right what a twat) I’m not sure which….
November 16th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Just to clarify “the wean” was at a party…honest x
November 16th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Haha! Now I get my own back. I was envious but now you’re the one dragging a wean around Newington. Mind you, you’ve got it right; a borrowed wean is like a hired car - you can give it back when you’re fed up of it.
November 16th, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Reminds me of the time my three year old son cheerfully told the lady who ran the Mother and Toddler group “My mummy sometimes hits me with a bottle!”
November 16th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
i have many a time, in public and in private, warned my imps “do NOT make me tear off your arm and beat you to death with the bloody stump!” worked every dang time, too. *G*
and i am waiting for grandkids now…spoil them rotten and send them back!!
November 17th, 2009 at 7:40 am
Fee, it would be a tad hypocritical of Kal to shout at the woman for swearing as he’s always feckin’ swearing in front of Louis! I’m sure Louis’ first word is going to be “c*nt”
November 17th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Digitalkatie: My sis swore like mad in front of her first on the grounds that “he doesn’t understand.” Then his first word turned out to be ‘Shit’. For the next two she seriously cleaned her language up!
November 23rd, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Just beware, though, kids can wreak a terrible revenge. At the age of two and a half, my eldest (now
discovered that she could persuade Mummy to buy anything she wanted inh supermarkets by dropping to the floor, head covered, in foetal position, anguishedly screaming “No, Mummy, please don’t hit me AGAIN!!!!”