Jun 23

Pigeons and Bananas

Tag: Photo ChallengeKal @ 10:31 pm


“A pigeon eating a banana” said Carrie.


Thus began my day of “Going out to take the photos where I’d read the original brief and gone “Awwww, fuck *off*, seriously?””

I wasn’t convinced that pigeons would eat a real banana, so I went to LicketySplit, the lovely little retro sweet shop in the middle of town and bought a bag of foam bananas instead.

Exactly why I thought that pigeons would prefer to eat extruded chemical foam over organic matter, I have no idea.

Shut up.

I was under a lot of pressure, right?

So, armed with a bread roll from Greggs, I found a couple of pigeons on the High Street, just outside my old office, in fact, and piled the bananas up on the pavement. Then I started flicking crumbs towards them to try and entice the birds to pose next to the sweeties.

It was a little dark in the corner I’d chosen, so I rigged up an external flash on a tripod. And clearly, had my camera on a tripod too.

So, you know, to an independent observer, it would look like a pretty in-depth, professional sort of set-up.

And that’s becase I’m a pretty professional, in-depth kinda guy.

What I hadn’t factored in, though, was that by doing this RIGHT OUTSIDE WHERE I USED TO WORK, I might bump into ex-colleagues. And indeed, so I did.



“What are you doing?”

And I was so flustered, I said:

“I’m taking pigeons of pictures…I’m, ummmm, I mean, pictures of pigeons. Yeah….”

And she looked at me.

And I said

“I sound a bit mental, don’t I?”

And she looked again.

And I tried to explain, about Louis, and a wheelchair, and how by taking photos of pigeons I was helping buy a kid a wheelchair. And then I tried to take my phone out and show her a picture of Louis, so she could go “Awww, that’s sweet, he looks lovely” and we’d all be on an even keel again.

But instead what happened was that I gibbered at her for a bit, fiddled with my phone while she spoke, failed to find the photo and then smiled awkwardly as she walked back to her office.

Thanks, Carrie. Thanks a bunch.

7 Responses to “Pigeons and Bananas”

  1. Lynda M O says:

    Not to worry, we all have days like that. I think running into old colleagues while you are doing something else and happy is the best revenge.


  2. Allan says:

    You should have used the pigeon statues on Elm Row, they’re obligingly inanimate.

    I’ll check out LicketySplit when I’m next up; you can’t get soor plooms down here for love nor money.


  3. Cath says:

    Thank you, Kal, that post made my day! Funniest start to the weekend EVER! :-D
    Did the pigeons eat the banana foam thingy?


  4. NoiseGirl says:

    That pigeon is bananas!

    Sorry, I’ll leave now…


  5. Win-Stone says:

    Naturally, you could look on the bright side; if, for example, Carrie had asked for a picture of ‘A banana eating a pigeon’!? Wow, now *that* would have been a picture worth seeing!! :-) :-)


  6. Carrie says:

    I’m pretty sure I just said “a pigeon WITH a banana”. I’m sorry I caused you a little embarrassment but I am delighted that your story made me laugh so much.

    Sorry Kal xxxxx


  7. Piper says:

    I presume that the pigeon didn’t want to ruin the taste of nicotine after it tried to eat the fag but behind it…….


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