Ten days in the UAE, because if you have friends who live somewhere hot and you live somewhere not just cold, but cold and slate grey, you'd be bloody daft to knock back the offer of a bed for a week.
It's lovely, a week of waking to “ooooh, it's going to be lovely”; being out in the mid day sun and going “Ooooh, you fucker, that's proper hot…but I think I'll bask in it for another half hour…” and then dining in the evenings on balconies as warm evenings winds blow across the Gulf.
That said, one evening we ate dinner on the shoreside and watched a massive container ship burn (I'd say burn to the ground, but that would be untrue, I guess it burned to the water?).
I watched Chinese opera once over my dinner…it was almost as entertaining as watching a major maritime disaster. Beats telly with scran on your knees.
Halfway through the week my hosts casually mentioned that they had to go into Dubai, as they host a healthcare related radio show once a week. Did I fancy coming along? In fact, fuck it, did I fancy being on air?
I'm a gobby git with a penchant for trying new things, who loves when people listen to me talk, would I like to spout nonsense to an entire nation?
Let's do it.
Into a studio, meet the resident DJ, shake hands and say hi and establish we have mutual friends (because the expat community in the Middle East is fabulously incestuous) and then we're on air.
It should be said that a paramedic is an unlikely person to be on a healthcare phone in, as the healthcare issues I'm most au fait with aren't the sort of thing that one bothers the average “long time listener, first time caller” – “Hi Jim, love the show…I'm currently being disembowelled by a Dobermann and I was wondering…”
But joining in was still lots of fun, even though I was being asked for my opinion on chickenpox, piles, bed wetting and headlice. And as I walked out I thought to myself “that was great…I wonder if I could do more radio back at home…?”
And then I realised that I have quite enough to be getting on with just now and chalked it up to experience.