Hogmanay, 2006, FriedBanana and I in the office of the boss, staff shortages means that we are two newbies flying solo for the first time, Boss summons us in.
“Just be careful, lads, aye?”
“I was thinking, boss, if we’re not sure what to do? We’ll put on lots of oxygen and drive very fast.”
“Perfect, good lad.”
Sarge leans against the vehicle at the end of my first day.
“You know you know fuck all, right? Regardless of how well you do at College, you come out here, you know fuck all.”
Grissom in the mess room.
“You want some advice? Stop trying to do twelve things quickly, do one thing well…oh, and stop trying to talk to dead people.”
Nelly in the mess room.
“You might be pleased to know you’ve been graduated from “Wank, with good guy tendencies.” to “Good guy, with wank tendencies.” Congratulations.
District in resus, a solid sinus rhythm on the patient’s ECG.
“You’re an ambulance man now, son.”
Kojak in the attendant’s seat.
“Kal? I’m shitting myself.”
“Me too. S’cool.”
DoctorKev riding shotgun in the back, transferring a flattened, but unintubated baby.
“You got his airway?”
TraumaDoc, lecturing at college.
“We are nothing but elaborate mechanics. We learn new skills to put air and water into people in increasingly clever ways.”
Patient who wasn’t known to be allergic to anything, but looked, sounded and described early stage anaphylaxis to a tee. I jagged him with the adrenaline anyway, figuring I was more concerned about his comfort than a bit of tachycardia. He phoned his mum, breathing easy for the first time in hours.
“I have two green angels in my house!”
Doctor in resus.
“So if your SVT patient has both AF AND Wolff Parkinson White and you give them Amiodarone, you run the risk of them conducting the AF and knocking them into VT.”
Me (in my head)
“Fuck me…I think I understand that.”
DTO ChaCha, on station the other day.
“You still keeping your blog?”
“Novelty hasn’t worn off yet?”
“Well, when I started, I was writing very much from a “Oooh! Look at what I get to do!” point, but as I progress I’m beginning to think that, actually, I understand quite a lot of this stuff.”
“Good. When’s your hospital placement?”
And this is where this post is going. As of Monday morning I’m working in BridgeHospital’s theatres and A&E for three weeks, learning the practical skills that I was taught in theory while on my paramedic course. I’m going to be intubating real people.
Real, honest to God people.
I’m shitting my pants.
However, I’m also going to spend three weeks being taught by people at the absolute top of their game; I’m a big dry sponge and I can’t wait to learn as much as they can throw at me.
Also? Once I’ve got my training documents signed, I can apply to the HPC and get my registration completed.
I’ll be a paramedic.