Nov 21

Quotes on the road of life.

Tag: Ambulance,JournalKal @ 10:32 am

Hogmanay, 2006, FriedBanana and I in the office of the boss, staff shortages means that we are two newbies flying solo for the first time, Boss summons us in.

“Just be careful, lads, aye?”
“I was thinking, boss, if we’re not sure what to do? We’ll put on lots of oxygen and drive very fast.”
“Perfect, good lad.”

Sarge leans against the vehicle at the end of my first day.
“You know you know fuck all, right? Regardless of how well you do at College, you come out here, you know fuck all.”

Grissom in the mess room.
“You want some advice? Stop trying to do twelve things quickly, do one thing well…oh, and stop trying to talk to dead people.”

Nelly in the mess room.
“You might be pleased to know you’ve been graduated from “Wank, with good guy tendencies.” to “Good guy, with wank tendencies.” Congratulations.

District in resus, a solid sinus rhythm on the patient’s ECG.
“You’re an ambulance man now, son.”

Kojak in the attendant’s seat.
“Kal? I’m shitting myself.”
“Me too. S’cool.”

DoctorKev riding shotgun in the back, transferring a flattened, but unintubated baby.
“You got his airway?”

TraumaDoc, lecturing at college.
“We are nothing but elaborate mechanics. We learn new skills to put air and water into people in increasingly clever ways.”

Patient who wasn’t known to be allergic to anything, but looked, sounded and described early stage anaphylaxis to a tee. I jagged him with the adrenaline anyway, figuring I was more concerned about his comfort than a bit of tachycardia. He phoned his mum, breathing easy for the first time in hours.

“I have two green angels in my house!”

Doctor in resus.
“So if your SVT patient has both AF AND Wolff Parkinson White and you give them Amiodarone, you run the risk of them conducting the AF and knocking them into VT.”
Me (in my head)
“Fuck me…I think I understand that.”

DTO ChaCha, on station the other day.
“You still keeping your blog?”
“Novelty hasn’t worn off yet?”
“Well, when I started, I was writing very much from a “Oooh! Look at what I get to do!” point, but as I progress I’m beginning to think that, actually, I understand quite a lot of this stuff.”
“Good. When’s your hospital placement?”

And this is where this post is going. As of Monday morning I’m working in BridgeHospital’s theatres and A&E for three weeks, learning the practical skills that I was taught in theory while on my paramedic course. I’m going to be intubating real people.

Real, honest to God people.

I’m shitting my pants.

However, I’m also going to spend three weeks being taught by people at the absolute top of their game; I’m a big dry sponge and I can’t wait to learn as much as they can throw at me.

Also? Once I’ve got my training documents signed, I can apply to the HPC and get my registration completed.

And then?

I’ll be a paramedic.

25 Responses to “Quotes on the road of life.”

  1. Sarah says:

    Being a big dry sponge probably helps with the shitting of the pants thing.


  2. elaine says:

    I was wondering when this was going to happen, particularly taking into account that there are situationns whe you know what needs doing but you are not allowed to do it. This must have been very frustrating.

    Best of luck with the placements.

    And don’t forget the adult size incontinence products…….


  3. Chris Rigby says:

    Brilliant post Kal, and well done.

    Betcha can’t wait!


  4. Bulk says:

    Your gonna love in hospital training, I know I did.
    Best Quote I heard from a consultant anaesthetist whilst there:
    “Intubation is easy!……you just stick the laryngoscope blade down their throat and use it to pick the head up off the pillow”
    Frighteningly he was serious about it…..he was right though!


  5. Sewmouse says:

    Off you go then – finish up those last bits so you’re official and all. I can’t wait for the post that says “It’s official, I’m a Paramedic” so I can finally say “I told you so!”

    Go gettum, Kid.


  6. Ellie says:

    Good luck with your hosp rotations!


  7. Charbob says:

    Yes LEGEND! Best of luck!


  8. Steven Fisher says:

    If you’re ever bored… and I guess I mean really bored… a quick post saying what positions you’ve done (medical-related, I mean) would be very cool. I really have no idea what you were before: all of these positions are kinda Greek to me. Only with Greek I could look it up and it would be the same everywhere, you know? :)


  9. Morpheus says:


    Well done Kal!


  10. Louise says:

    That made me chuckle out loud! Brilliant!

    Good Luck with the hospital placement!


  11. Cath says:

    Enjoy :-D


  12. Danni says:

    Awesome!!!! Enjoy you’ll be great


  13. Lindsey says:

    Wonderful post! By the way, I tagged you on my blog for the Bookworm Award. Come to site to see.


  14. Angie says:

    I just passed the lab portion of my RN refresher course. I, too am a big sponge, but at 45, I’m a very full sponge that you must squeeze something out to get a new thing in.


  15. Nick says:

    Congratulations Kal – I _loved_ my Recovery and ICU placements as a student.


  16. Loth says:

    Make sure you have your good undies on, take a clean hankie and don’t give the teachers any cheek. We expect a good report.


  17. katie says:

    Hey thats brilliant :) Hope you enjoy it.. and keep us posted as ever – I so miss A&E – have a blast :)


  18. Sarah says:

    Loth – I’m currently imagining a much more fun 4 weeks than he’s likely to have if only it involved good undies and a clean hanky ;p


  19. OutbackAmbo says:

    Very humbling Kal. Excellent post – have fun in A&E!


  20. Jon Delaunt says:

    Go get ‘em Kal. You’ll be a great medic, I know it.


  21. Dumpling says:

    Way to go Kal :-) Soak up as much as you can :-)


  22. lightsandsirens says:

    Just curious, Kojak was shitting because the call was something like “baby not breathing”, or cause you were driving?


  23. Blippie says:

    There’s nothing quite like the sound of your first live intubation, as your trembling hand rattles the metal laryngoscope blade against the patient’s shiny white teeth…




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